Mondays 9:00 PM on CBS

Life is full of mystery. Just think, if I was a monkey and you were a bowl of coleslaw, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Victoria: Well, everybody dies. I just want to make sure they're ready for whatever is waiting for them.
Mike: Might as well hedge your bets. If there is an afterlife, you don't want to be the ugly one.

I'm gonna add a little blush, Mr. Whitmore. Just because you're stone cold dead doesn't mean you can't be stone cold hot.

I'm going to jail? I'm too young and too pretty! Those butch chicks will be on me like ants on a peach!

Peggy: You invited your dead beat dad and his whore to our wedding?
Mike: Well, it's still up in the air with the whore.
Molly: Our wedding?!

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