Would you want a slut-pert in your class?

Karen

There's a fine line between self-empowerment and self-destruction.

Doctor

I’d be delighted to drive all the way up to Malibu. After all, this is my store. Now, please, get out of my store.

April

It’s like going to a bar without leaving your house.

Joss

Kiss a lot of frogs! Isn’t that the expression?

Karen

Patient: I’ve never had an orgasm!
Karen: Okay. Little bit of a problem.

Henry: Bad news?
Joss: No, it’s just the slow crumbling of my self-esteem.

I’m gonna pretty much do everything I can to not think about Brian, except for when I’m cyberstalking him.

Kate

Kate: Do I have to get out of my snuggie?
Harry: Is that what that is?

You will have this orgasm if it’s the last thing I do.

Karen

Joss: Anyone want to join? It will change your life.
Karen: Yeah, I don't really feel like getting kicked in the ribs.

I can't hear the name Paul without having PTSD. Or Daniel... or Richard, for that matter.

April

Mistresses Quotes

Customer: Is this the sexy sheet section?
April: This is the satin section. What's sexy to one person is a slippery elbow in the face to someone else.

Savi: Where's your wedding ring?
Harry: It's in my pocket.
Savi: Put it on.