Why would I talk about anything to you? You lie.

Lucy [to April]

April: The truth shall set you free.
Joss: Says who?
April: You know, God.

Look, she doesn't owe me anything. Maybe she'll call when she figures out what it is she actually wants. Hopefully by then, I won't care so damn much.


You can keep that two timing bitch. You two deserve each other.

Scott [to Harry]

Savi know. Does Scott?

Harry [to Joss]

oss: Did you just dangle Grandma June's mortality in my face?
Scott: Yeah.
Joss: You bastard.

Karen: Did you tell Savi he kissed you?
Joss: Are you freaking high? Of course not.

Are you just never allowed to talk about another person with a penis when you get married?


I wish I could go with you but I have to go back to the FBI office tomorrow so I can help my not-married ex-boyfriend find my not-dead ex-husband who currently works for some drug dealing overlord.


Stop right there before i Jezebel your ass. You my friend are a grown woman and if the Universe is going to punish you then the Universe is a sexist pig.


Savi: He was trying to teach me how to do that pop up thing. I never actually popped up.
Joss: I bet he did.

Babe, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're broke.


Mistresses Quotes

Customer: Is this the sexy sheet section?
April: This is the satin section. What's sexy to one person is a slippery elbow in the face to someone else.

Savi: Where's your wedding ring?
Harry: It's in my pocket.
Savi: Put it on.