Monkeys will fly out of my ass before I go to a church mixer.Alec
Calista: If you two are meant to be together, you'll end up together. The best way to get over a man, is to get under another one.
Joss: You should stitch that on a pillow, that's really good.
Joss: Oh, God! Oh my God, what are you doing?
Calista: Choosing a window to jump from!
Karen: Have you ever been in something like this before?
Joss: Threesomes? Honey, I invented them.
Why does everything have to be so hard?Calista
I'm sorry, am I being too loud for you? I can fix that.Joss [to Harry]
I hope it was worth it.Scott [to Joss]
Marc: You really like him, huh?
April: Yeah, I guess I do.
Vivian: You're afraid that you're attracted to my husband, aren't you?
Vivian: You're pushing us together, so you don't pull us apart.
Karen: Oh, God. Something's wrong with me.
Joss: Nothing, Harry. I just, you know, I didn't, I didn't do this for this.
Harry: You didn't do what for what?
Joss: Lose my sister to casually date you.
Vivian: How much do you love this weed?
Karen: It's a miracle.
It isn't just that Alec doesn't find me desirable anymore, I don't find me desirable anymore.Vivian [to Karen]