April: We all agree it's going to be horrible.
Karen: Absolutely
Joss: Worst night ever.

Oh crap, are you married because I don't do that anymore.


Savi: I am such a badass.
Zack: Not if you say it.

Deep down you know this can’t end well. Which is probably why you’re telling me about this now, so I can tell you to stop.


No matter what part of the story you tell the story is the same and in that story I am betrayed and duped and naive and I don't want him to see me like that.


Nice to meet you Scott. My boobs are fine so I'm going to go find the bar.


Three words. Free Botox.


Your food is great and all that jazz but truly, this. This face is what all the ladies what and half the gentleman.


When was the last time you were even on a date. I mean, a real date that wasn’t with a patient or his kid?


I can't keep holding on to something that doesn't exist any more.


Karen: It just doesn't feel right.
Joss: Well it certainly looks right and I say that as a former lesbian.

Not many people know what to say to a person who's been shot at but you, you were good.


Mistresses Quotes

Joss: I slept with Harry!
April: Oh my God!
Karen: Congratulations?
April: Are we happy?
Joss: Yeah we are.
Karen: You don't look happy.

Customer: Is this the sexy sheet section?
April: This is the satin section. What's sexy to one person is a slippery elbow in the face to someone else.