Three words. Free Botox.

Kira

Your food is great and all that jazz but truly, this. This face is what all the ladies what and half the gentleman.

Joss

When was the last time you were even on a date. I mean, a real date that wasn’t with a patient or his kid?

Joss

I can't keep holding on to something that doesn't exist any more.

Savi

Karen: It just doesn't feel right.
Joss: Well it certainly looks right and I say that as a former lesbian.

Not many people know what to say to a person who's been shot at but you, you were good.

Karen

Well, she's not ugly.

Joss (about Toni)

Toni: You really know how to bounce back from a crash, mamsita.
Savi: Well, I try.

Fine, if you can't talk to her then text her. That's why texting was invented, to avoid any chance of intimacy.

Joss

Are we talking about the same Jacob who reported you to the psych board to have your license suspended?

Joss

Her cleavage is like a whole other person in the room.

Savi

This is ridiculous. I don't even know you and you're feeding me.

April

Mistresses Quotes

Customer: Is this the sexy sheet section?
April: This is the satin section. What's sexy to one person is a slippery elbow in the face to someone else.

Savi: Where's your wedding ring?
Harry: It's in my pocket.
Savi: Put it on.