Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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I get that Thanksgiving is an big day for families that don't see each other, but we're together nonstop.

Jay

I listened to her meringue instructions in the car last week. There was so much whipping and beating I had to pull over.

Phil

Right now you’re her pal and I’m just a pitchfork wielding she-devil.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Do you think we could just go downstairs and throw money at this and it would go away? I'm asking you, do you think that would work?

Jay

Cam: Trust me, I have another plan.
Mitchell: Really? Because right now our daughter is walking around like a Vietnamese Annie Hall.

We're showing Lily that we trust her enough to have one nice thing.

Mitchell

Sweetheart you've had 2 boyfriends in 30 seconds, that's practically Haley's record!

Claire [to Alex]

Cam: Let's get this woman into bed and in the morning out of the house as fast as we can. Honestly, I don't know how straight guys do it.
Mitchell: Probably without those hand gestures.

Haley isn't the only hottie living here. I washed the car in my cheer shorts the other day. I definitely felt eyes on me.

Phil

Claire: Who's Victor? We never heard about him.
Haley: Oh because I knew you'd never let me go out with an ex con.

Jay: Where were you when I was growing up? I'd of had your dice and cigarettes before you got to homeroom.
Manny: Where'd you go to school? "Guys and Dolls?"

Our daughter might be going to college!!!

Phil
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