Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Modern Family Quotes
I couldn't be more relaxed if I was in a coma.
Claire
You know what a human pyramid is without hours of training? Ten obituaries!
Phil
If God wants a hamburger, this is what she cooks it on!
Phil
I knew we should have poured the tequila in your belly button. That's why they have these systems in place.
Manny
You're not going to drive me into a bad neighborhood to show me how lucky I am, are you?
Alex
The family needs a leader, and I can't do it forever. You can handle it.
Jay
Nobody likes dancing more than the gays. Pretend you're on a float!
Mitch
Cam: Woo! That's the real Jay!
Jay: You know it! [snaps finger]
Cam: He is so adorable.
Mitch: I know, isn't he? Remember when Lily was like this?
Lily: What do you say when I'm not here?
Cam: The writing's on the wall.
Lily: But mostly on the curtains.
Something was bugging him, he needed to talk. It's like I don't want to be happy.
Jay
Jay: Okay, we can solve both our problems. We put this princess castle together in the next thirty minutes. Let's go!
Phil: How does this solve my problem?
Jay: Just go!
