Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I'm the ass kicking clown that will twist you like a balloon animal!

Cameron

You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.

Jay

I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.

Manny

We'll be on her like white on rice... which might sound racist because we're white and she, presumably, like rice.

Cam

You're all the porn I need.

Phil

Don't be disrespectful Luke, anybody could do it with Gloria.

Phil

Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

If this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, I'm going to have a big problem.

Manny

I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.

Luke
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 1213 in total