We'll be on her like white on rice... which might sound racist because we're white and she, presumably, like rice.


You're all the porn I need.


I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.


Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.


If this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, I'm going to have a big problem.


I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.


There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Jay [to Gloria]

You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.


Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

She's being facetious...sarcastic...Dylan no stay!

Alex [to Haley]

If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.


Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.