You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.


I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.


We'll be on her like white on rice... which might sound racist because we're white and she, presumably, like rice.


Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.


Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.


If this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, I'm going to have a big problem.


You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.


Are you doing sex?


You can insult a lot of things about me - my hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises - but don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it!


Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.


You know what I might just go crazy tonight and hook up all over him.