Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Modern Family Quotes
I brought you some soda, but I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats.
Luke
You know what I might just go crazy tonight and hook up all over him.
Alex
Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.
Mitchell
You can insult a lot of things about me - my hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises - but don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it!
Phil
You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.
Cameron
Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.
Alex
Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.
Claire
My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.
Mitchell
This whole thing is a colossal fog cue.
Jay
I was 11 years old. I hit ten straight fastballs in the batting cage, then my friend Jeff Sweeney took one in the groin. I yelled "ball two!" Everybody laughed. That's when I knew I was funny.
Phil
Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.
Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.
