Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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This whole thing is a colossal fog cue.

Jay

There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Jay [to Gloria]

My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.

Mitchell

Are you doing sex?

Luke

If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.

Cameron

Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.

Claire

I brought you some soda, but I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats.

Luke

Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.

Alex

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Well, my white-man name is Tucker. I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.

Cam

Hey, the world needs more dreamers Luke. Never stop licking things.

Phil

Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1251 in total
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