Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Are you doing sex?


You know what I might just go crazy tonight and hook up all over him.


You can insult a lot of things about me - my hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises - but don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it!


Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.


I brought you some soda, but I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats.


There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Jay [to Gloria]

Perhaps I'll be Reginald Appleby. An English gentleman in town for a polo match.


My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.


Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Alex is teaching herself Chinese so she'll be useful when they finish buying us.


She's being facetious...sarcastic...Dylan no stay!

Alex [to Haley]
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1244 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.


Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

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