Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire

Not since I fell off the roof while they were delivering our trampoline have things come together so beautifully.

Phil

Haley: Dad, that was a stop sign.
Phil: I'll stop twice on the way back.

I'm fine, he's only one. I watched him pee into his own face and smile.

Jay

You dated a Dottie after Dede?

Gloria

Good to see you Betty Luke.

Phil [to Luke]

Calm down, you're gonna spook the boob.

Luke [to Manny]

I'm not adorable, I'm getting a mustache.

Luke

It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies, isn't it, Jay?

Gloria
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1251 in total
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