By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.

Mitchell

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

Yes people are allowed their private thoughts and I shouldn't be so angry, but I'm latin so I get to feel whatever i want.

Gloria

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Manny

He's like Batman, but straight.

Mitchell [on the gardener]

I sleep clown.

Cam

First rule of golf, shhh.

Jay

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

We fall a lot. Maybe you can be there to pick us up when we do.

Phil

I don't know about you but I've got about five minutes of fabulous left.

Mitchell

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.

Mitchell