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Modern-family

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

What ever happened to letting kids be themselves?

Jay

It’s all gravy, when you’re in the A.V.

Phil

Hey luxury bathroom, it's me lowly closet. Watch your back.

Jay

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

Knock it off old man!

Mitchell [to Jay]

He's managed to make a gay couple hate brunch.

Mitchell

Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.

Let's get Phil-sical.

Phil

Yeah, I'm just water-washing my hands.

Manny
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1213 in total

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Modern Family Quotes

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron
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