Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

A lot of people assumed that I married you for your money and that’s only a very, very small part of it. I married you because you’re sexy. You still are. Who knows how long that’s going to last for either of us?

Gloria

First rule of golf, shhh.

Jay

When am I going to get real boobs?

Lily

Gather round like you're hugging me, but don't touch me!

Phil

I'm feeling better now...OH GOD IT'S CANCER!!!

Phil

What converts this conversation into over?

Alex

Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.

I sleep clown.

Cam

Cam I don't have all day to describe my meals to you.

Gloria
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1229 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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