By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Manny

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said

Your rebel boyfriend is a Dapper Dan!

Claire [to Haley]

Phil: I'm cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

How was it a big day for Biscuit? How?

Cam

Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy

He's like Batman, but straight.

Mitchell [on the gardener]

I sleep clown.

Cam

First rule of golf, shhh.

Jay

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex