By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Cam [giving Lily dating advice]: Definitely compliment his outfit, laugh at his jokes...
Lily: What if they aren't funny?
Cam: Oh honey, the cute ones rarely are. God doesn't give with both hands.

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

I'm still growing into my tongue.

Luke

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

You dated a Dottie after Dede?

Gloria

I love gambling, it's so easy!!

Manny

You should just dip yourself in boy repellant!

Haley

Do we have to put the toilet on the counter? I take my afternoon coffee here.

Manny

Our daughter might be going to college!!!

Phil

I'm feeling better now...OH GOD IT'S CANCER!!!

Phil

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.

Phil