Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Haley: I’m Alex, who are you?
Andy: I’m their manny.
Haley: Nice try, I know their Manny and you look nothing like him.
Andy: Ohhh, you’re Haley.

Have you seen the way he looks at her? The same way he used to look at Halloween candy.

Claire

Uh, uh, nobody throws up until I sing.

Phil

She’s so new to our school, she doesn’t even realize that I’m a full social class below her.

Alex

You didn’t seem to care when you were eating all his practice cake.

Gloria [to Jay]

That’s the worst call since they cast Russell Crowe in Les Miz!!

Cam

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

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