Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!


I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.


You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonna work for my fans.

Alex [to Haley]

Mitchell is turning Gloria into mom.


Uncle Cam, as her future prom date can you please talk to her? You know fashion and stuff.

Haley [about Alex]

Let me burn your clothes!

Haley [to Alex]

You gotta grab what you can, when you can.


The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.


I can't take another farm story.

Jay [to Cam]
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