Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Oh quick, nature's surefire sunburn remedy- aloe!

Phil

I had a pretty good hat run, but then I saw a photo of myself in a dude ranch. I looked like Reba at the Grammys.

Mitchell

I don't wanna meet anything on Monday that I'm gonna eat on Friday.

Mitchell

I'm not sure how that guy got to be a professor if he was stupid enough to dump you.

Phil

We've had my dad's baby 45 minutes and he's already in a dress.

Mitchell

I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Phil

Well you might as well be a dead hobo in the woods of a small town after a rainstorm because you have just been discovered.

Cameron

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny

All of that explaining is going out and the alcohol is not going in.

Claire
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