Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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It's like your shaking hands, but you're not using your hands. At all.

Phil [on sex]

They called a family meeting when they switched to one percent milk.

Haley

We are beyond blotting and rubbing, we've moved on to sweating and crying.

Cam

Claire: We need a game plan, we need to map out exactly what we are going to say, because that is the only way I will be able to hold it together while our babies look at us with judgment and disgust.
Phil: That's how they always look at us.

I know what sex is, it's when a man and a woman take off their underwear and get into bed.

Luke

It sended! Please come back!

Gloria

Whatever they were doing, Dad was winning.

Luke [on seeing his parents having sex]

If this were the '60s, we would be 'confirmed bachelors,' and Lily would be a Yorkie.

Cam

Claire, we're not your parents; we're in much better shape.

Phil

Forgive me for thinking your zesty performance deserves some praise!

Phil

Phil: We were, as they say, having sex.
Claire: That's not a euphemism. That's actually what we were doing.

Displaying all 11 quotes

Modern Family Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes

Forgive me for thinking your zesty performance deserves some praise!

Phil

Phil: We were, as they say, having sex.
Claire: That's not a euphemism. That's actually what we were doing.