Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary. I think it's all the nagging.

Phil

I am very angry at you and I'm going to make a list of all the things I'm going to scream at you as soon as this baby's out of me.

Gloria

How're you gonna cheerlead your way out of this one Buffy?

Mitchell

Yeah I was pretty ticked off that Mitchell double crossed my double cross.

Phil

In this relationship I'm the gas pedal and you are the brakes.

Cam [to Mitchell]

Cam: Okay what did we learn from "A League of Their Own?"
Claire: No crying in baseball.
Cam: No, that Madonna's a lousy actress and so are you. So what's going on?

Papa would buy ten diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut up.

Jay

There's something about going to work that makes you feel like, I don't know, you're worth something. No offense mom.

Haley

His turn offs are farms, Fizbo, and worst of all Farmbo.

Claire [about Mitchell]
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