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Modern-family

Mitchell you are not going to believe this. I'm out with Gloria looking for her dog and I'm wearing an undershirt and I'm screaming STELLA just like in "Street Car"!

Cam

You'll never go broke playing into a rich guy's ego. Write THAT down.

Manny

Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.

Cam: Sweetie what's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cam: Shut up really? Mitchell would die.

Manny: Hello Ma'am, do you love Christmas?
Neighbor: Actually I'm Jewish.
Manny: Well then you must appreciate a good value.

For the record, I am not a neat freak. In fact in my first long term relationship I was the messy one, which is why she broke up with me...well...

Mitchell

I've always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I've succeeded as a dad.

Phil

When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy.

Cam

Jay, I'm gonna need you to cut me a check.

Manny

Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.

Alex
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Modern Family Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes

Jay, I'm gonna need you to cut me a check.

Manny

Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.

Alex
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