Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

First of all, that lady is my son.

Jay [about Mitchell]

It smells like puke married poop and they had the ceremony in my nose.

Luke

I always thought of women as the more evolved sex, but after today...I've seen things Jay.

Manny

Doesn't he know that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy, actually makes them crazy?

Claire

A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.

Mitchell

It happened. Satan's trifecta. The day I most dreaded had fallen on the day I most loved.

Phil

Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.

Mitchell

I can be spontaneous every 4 years.

Claire
Displaying all 9 quotes

Modern Family Season 3 Episode 17 Quotes

Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.

Mitchell

I can be spontaneous every 4 years.

Claire
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