Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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The way he looked at me, it was like I wore a tube top in church.

Claire

Mitchell look around, your family is cheating on me with your ex boyfriend!

Cam

You know, I've got problems of my own. I can't always be the lovable sidekick on the manny show. Did you even notice I'm binge eating?

Luke

I can't lie to that face. It's a good thing we're not married.

Gloria

What did I say about these flowered blankets for him? He's starting to take after Hugh Hefner over there.

Jay

Phil: How low can you go?
Haley: I'm at a roller rink with my family on a Saturday night. I win!

You've just gotta tell him man to man, woman to man, you're very shapely.

Phil

Aww time to heal more, that's so sweet and sensitive. Why did you kill that part of yourself?

Cam [to Mitchell]
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