You're all the porn I need.

Phil

• Permalink: You're all the porn I need.
• Added: January 14, 2010

He lost his monocle on the drive. Head was out the window.

Jay [on Barkley]

• Permalink: He lost his monocle on the drive. Head was out the window.
• Added: January 14, 2010

You're just mad at the old balls and chain.

Jay

• Permalink: You're just mad at the old balls and chain.
• Added: January 14, 2010

I could be a chump, do the usual, give the money back to the casino. Or I could do something for myself and get something from the casino store.

Jay

• Permalink: I could be a chump, do the usual, give the money back to the cas...
• Added: January 14, 2010

We're both with people different from us, and that's gonna create stuff. But you want different.

Jay

• Permalink: We're both with people different from us, and that's gonna creat...
• Added: January 14, 2010

Some are real, right? Like Anne Frank's?

Luke [on diaries, not boobs]

• Permalink: Some are real, right? Like Anne Frank's?
• Added: January 14, 2010

He's like Batman, but straight.

Mitchell [on the gardener]

• Permalink: He's like Batman, but straight.
• Added: January 14, 2010

I'm like a big runaway charity truck and Mitchell is my off-ramp full of safety gravel.

Cameron

• Permalink: I'm like a big runaway charity truck and Mitchell is my off-ramp...
• Added: January 14, 2010

This is not art. This is an unholy mix between man and beast.

Gloria

• Permalink: This is not art. This is an unholy mix between man and beast.
• Added: January 14, 2010

That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.

Phil

• Permalink: That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You k...
• Added: January 14, 2010