Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.

Turns out I've had my super-Dunphy all along.

Claire

I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.

Alex

Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.

Gloria [to Jay]

Get away from me temptress! And I never thought I'd call you that in a negative way.

Cam [to Mitchell]

Cam I don't have all day to describe my meals to you.

Gloria

Phil I think those are jazz shoes.

Claire

Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!

How awesome are people?

Let's face it a well fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability; now deprive him of food and stage by stage it's a slow descent into madness.

Mitchell

You know I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

Let's face it a well fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability; now deprive him of food and stage by stage it's a slow descent into madness.

Mitchell

You know I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.

Mitchell [to Cam]