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I know this whole thing is a little scary for you. Last time you were pregnant you kind of did it alone because dad wasn't around much, but this time you have two partners.

Manny [to Gloria]

Claire: It's shaving time, shavy gravy, Shaved by the Bell!
Alex: Why are you talking like dad?

I'm totally pumped. Pumped pumped pumped, Pump up the jam, Pumped up kicks, Pumpedy dumpty, Pumple-stiltskin.


Also though, it will allow for a little more freestyling in the boudoir if we're not having to worry about adding anymore critters.


I'm having a baby at 65. You wanna another surprise Gloria? Buy yourself a box of crackerjacks.


Why don't you call my dad and talk about what a teet-sucking layabout I am?


This family needs a dumbass-ectomy.


Haley: Oh my God, what is that outfit? Are you going goth? You still sleep with a stuffed panda.
Alex: Isn't there a fraternity you need to pass out in?

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