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You know what? You just caused a scene in a restaurant and you can't get anymore like your daddies than that.

Cam [to Lily]

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

Cam: I knew when I was 5.
Mitchell: Everyone knew when you were 5.

You know what was a rare book at my school library, one that didn't have genitals drawn all over it.


When am I going to get real boobs?


A wise and insightful old hippie, a Jeff Bridges old hippie.


Just because he's behind a curtain doesn't make him a wizard.


I've always felt out of place in public school, like a long petunia in an onion patch.


He says I make him nervous, that I care too much. That's why I not even allowed to bring him to his haircuts anymore.

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