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I love you when you're human.

Phil [to Claire]

Don't carry me out this time, I think it sends the wrong message to Lily.


Phil: Wow, this place has really changed. Time marches on, huh? See that Starbucks down there, you know what that used to be?
Luke: An orange grove?
Phil: No, a Burger King. You can still see some of the architecture.

I know I'm not the handiest guy, but I'm still a man and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say, 'There's a little bit of me in that princess castle.


Claire: Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now their driving, and soon we'll all be dead.

That was my Vietnam - and I was in Vietnam.


In your face, girl with a negative tattoo.


I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.


Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.

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