I love you when you're human.

Phil [to Claire]

Don't carry me out this time, I think it sends the wrong message to Lily.


Phil: Wow, this place has really changed. Time marches on, huh? See that Starbucks down there, you know what that used to be?
Luke: An orange grove?
Phil: No, a Burger King. You can still see some of the architecture.

I know I'm not the handiest guy, but I'm still a man and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say, 'There's a little bit of me in that princess castle.


Claire: Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now their driving, and soon we'll all be dead.

That was my Vietnam - and I was in Vietnam.


In your face, girl with a negative tattoo.


I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.


Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.


In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married. But I'm not like that.


Mitchell: Aren't you going to change into a working man's outfit?
Cameron: I don't think workmen really call them outfits.

You can insult a lot of things about me - my hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises - but don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it!


Modern Family Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Manny: Kelly's moving her stuff into my notebook.
Kelly: It just felt right.

Every home-improvement project we've undertaken has been a near-death experience.