Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I love you when you're human.

Phil [to Claire]

Don't carry me out this time, I think it sends the wrong message to Lily.

Mitchell

Phil: Wow, this place has really changed. Time marches on, huh? See that Starbucks down there, you know what that used to be?
Luke: An orange grove?
Phil: No, a Burger King. You can still see some of the architecture.

I know I'm not the handiest guy, but I'm still a man and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say, 'There's a little bit of me in that princess castle.

Mitchell

Claire: Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now their driving, and soon we'll all be dead.

That was my Vietnam - and I was in Vietnam.

Jay

In your face, girl with a negative tattoo.

Phil

I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.

Alex

Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.

Phil
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