Modern Family Quotes
Phil: It's nice to see you Gloria. [Hugs Gloria]
Gloria: Two times today.
Phil: Okay. [Goes in for another hug]
Claire: Uh, Phil, she means we've seen them two times today
- Permalink: It's nice to see you Gloria. Two times today. Okay. Uh, ...
If I say something that everybody else is thinking, does that make me a mean person? Or, does it make me a brave person, one who is courageous enough to stand up and say something, behind someone's back to a ten-year-old?Claire
- Permalink: If I say something that everybody else is thinking, does that ma...
Jay: No, see this is exactly why we sweep things under the rug. So, people don't get hurt.
Phil: Well, yeah, until you sweep too much under the rug. Then you have a lumpy rug... creates a tripping hazard...and open yourself up to lawsuits. Boy, you can go a really long time without blinking
- Permalink: No, see this is exactly why we sweep things under the rug. So, p...
Claire likes to say "You can be part of the problem, or part of the solution." But I happen to believe you can be bothPhil
- Permalink: Claire likes to say You can be part of the problem, or part of t...
Gloria: Jay, I'm home. Did Manny call?
Jay: No, because he's fine. It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.
- Permalink: Jay, I'm home. Did Manny call? No, because he's fine. It was a...
Haley: Okay, mom just doesn't trust me and it's not fair.
Phil: She trusts you, it's just the weird stuff that happens at concerts. Boys get urges.
Haley: Eww! Dad, is there something you want?
Phil: Yes, there is., to connect with this girl right here. Now come on, pretend I'm not your dad. We're just a couple of friends kickin' it in a juice bar.
Haley: What's a juice bar?
Phil: Okay a malt shop, whatever.
Haley: Dad, I don't...
Phil: No, who's dad, who's dad? I'm Marcus, from Biology. Hey Haley! How's it going with you and Dylan? Does he try anything inappropriate with you, girl?
Haley [answering her phone]: Hey. I don't know, nothing, just talking to some dork I met in a malt shop
- Permalink: Okay, mom just doesn't trust me and it's not fair. She trusts ...
Jay: What's up!
Mitchell: Uh, well you know, uh, moms in town.
Jay: Your mom?
Mitchell: No, no your mom. She's back from the grave. Yes, yes my mom, dad.
Jay: My mom would be less scary
- Permalink: What's up! Uh, well you know, uh, moms in town. Your mom? ...
Dede: I don't know what just happened.
Dylan: I do. I mean it seems pretty simple to me. You're reaching out, trying to hold onto something awesome.
Haley: Um maybe, maybe you shouldn't.
Dylan: Look, look, look, I'm not used to this, the whole "big family" thing. In my house, we don't even talk to each other. You know it's funny, the first time I saw Haley, I knew I liked her. I mean she's beautiful and everything, but it's it's not just that. She's got this killer confidence. You know, the kind of confidence that you get from having a family like this, that's passionate and accepting of hot foreigners, and gay dudes, and nutty people. You know, a family that actually loves each other
- Permalink: I don't know what just happened. I do. I mean it seems pretty ...
Phil [to Manny]: Nice moustache
Jay: Don't make fun of him or he'll burn your house down
- Permalink: Nice moustache Don't make fun of him or he'll burn your house ...