Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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They say the greats never let anything affect their performance. Well maybe the greats never had a daughter who checked out during the third of five planned real time wardrobe changes. But I'm not gonna lie, it knocked me off my game.

Phil

Trust me, when I get done talking to her not only will she have confessed to the crime, I might even sell her a closet.

Jay

You know what I say, I might be coach but I like to travel first class!

Cam

Now there are pushy obnoxious moms, who try and get involved, nudge them towards one another...we mean well.

Claire

Ew it's so sad when parents try. My mom double pierced one of her ears and I'm like "Hello! You're 50."

Alex

I've been lonely. Having a mirror in my room will be like having company.

Haley

What happened to him? He didn't used to be that self-conscious before high school. He used to go around in his poncho, play the band flute. I miss my old Manny.

Gloria

A happy kid is like an anti-depressant. But a natural one, not the kind your husband has to find in your jewelry drawer.

Phil

Haley: Oh my God I'm missing a text.
Alex: It just got real didn't it?

Her head sounds like pop rocks.

Cam

You win an Oscar. You buy a Golden Globe.

Cam

I have a mandate and not the kind you hide from your wife.

Gil
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 1290 in total