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Modern-family

That’s the worst call since they cast Russell Crowe in Les Miz!!

Cam

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

Their ship went down but their love lasted forever!

Phil

Did you see that? When has your dad ever not wanted to pull Luke's finger. He's hurting.

Claire

Claire, I owe you a pack of lady razors.

Frank

We're in my kitchen, you have to stop saying 'hooker!'

Phil

He's a weird man. He's like Phil except I have to pay for him.

Jay

Andy: I'm the new Manny.
Manny: Am I being replaced?

A thousand therapists couldn't do what Gloria did for me.

Jay

Pepper: My job is to give you a snowflake that makes everyone die with jealousy.
Cam: That's all we've ever wanted.

I don't like another woman in my house. I want to be the star.

Gloria

Well do you like this suit? I wouldn't know because all you said was that it was tight and not in a cool, black way.

Phil
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 1213 in total

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Modern Family Quotes

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron
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