Claire: Why are you trying to turn this into a fight? I called to yell at you for getting me sick. Love you, bye.
Mitchell: I love you too.

If laughter is the best medicine, consider yourself grape flavored Triaminic.

Phil [to Luke]

Claire: This cold stops with me. Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
Phil: You did?
Luke: Appreciated the back rub. Not sure I loved being called Miss Thang.
Phil: Nooooo!

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

It went to my ears on our flight home. I may have moaned a bit. A crying baby complained about me.

Cam

I never get sick. I must've caught some kind of chill on the beach when my socks got wet...My ankles burn.

Mitchell

Cam: Okay, come on we have something to show you!
Lily: Is it dinner or is my mouth too ugly to put food into?

Manny: When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you?
Gloria: Sexy pants.
Manny: Ew. The other one?
Gloria: Bunny.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.

Claire

Okay you need to calm down. This college tour, not Oprah's favorite things.

Alex

Listen to me. I think you went to the jewelry store inside here (points to Jay's heart) and brought back a gem.

Manny

I think I could be a little less Ryan Gosling, and a little more everyman.

Cam

Claire: Check this out, a reflecting pond.
Alex: Great maybe you can see how crazy you’re being right now.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex