You guys exhaust me.

Lily

Alex: So what're you gonna do in Utah.
Andy: Well, me and my girlfriend haven’t seen each other in a while so we're gonna be like a couple bunny rabbits…
Alex: Wow.
Andy: Hopping all over town.

Phil: Those drops are really hanging on. I’m like Han Solo when he came out of the carbonite. Nothing?
Alex: I get it. Star Trek.
Phil: You’re breaking my heart.

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

Mitchell: Hey, Best Man.
Claire: Hello, blushing bride.
Mitchell: I feel like I should hate that more.

Oh calm down. This can’t be the first time you've woken up with other men in your bedroom.

Pepper

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Claire

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria

Haley: I was conceived at a Duran Duran concert?!
Alex: Classy start to a classy life.

I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was suggested I was out of my league when I landed Claire, by Jay mostly. And my friends, and my parents...and Claire.

Phil

Luke: What's Zima?
Phil: Just a party in a bottle. Man that reminds me of some wild times.

Maybe we can send un-vitations, is that a thing?

Cam

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

[Singing] You are not the man you used to be. You get up four times at night to pee. Ba da dum da dum tat ta ta ta. You're super duper old now.

Phil