Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

I thought it was a charity event for the need, it turns out it was a charity event FOR the needy!

Cam

Alex: Am I just going to nitpick everyone until they leave me?
Haley: Hey mom found somebody!

5 oclock Christmas Eve and I have to find a dozen perfect presents for the world’s snarkiest, cattiest men. My dear, dear friends.

Mitchell

Dad I was with you on the tight rope, I was your wingman at the wing eating competition, but I’m not feeling this one. You’re missing Christmas Eve.

Luke

Just when I’m so close to the Canadian border I can smell the bacon and reasonably priced medications.

Phil

Jay: Trees are like women, the best ones make you work just a little bit harder.
Manny: She’s just not that into you.

You know what they say, houseguests start to stink after 3 days like dead bodies.

Gloria

When I wake up in my own room tomorrow I’ll be giving thanks for my independence and isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Haley

This body doesn’t just happen ladies.

Phil

As a my favorite redhead once sang, “the sun will come out tomorrow.” That redhead of course was Mitchell, introducing me to the plucky orphan Annie. Whose never say die attitude pulled this country out of a little thing called The Great Depression. And anything a little girl can do, I can try to do too.

Phil

Two things I bring to every open house, my lucky pen and a smile. I haven’t sold a house all month. Do you see me saying “I’m done”? Never. Because there is no “done” in Dunphy.

Phil

Claire: So I finally get out of the closet and there’s dad looking down on me.
Mitchell: Been there.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 1244 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny
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