You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.


Now, I didn't tell Cam, because I was embarrassed, but also because I knew -- I knew I would get another job just like that. It's been a month.


Congrats! I'm gonna roll away before you spit on my screen again!


I just had to plug him in. It was a nice reversal from when I had to pull the plug on my dad in the hospital.


Manny: I think it's a bold step, and I support you in your journey of self improvement.
Gloria: No, you're not getting your hair straightened.

It would kill me if I thought that what I felt would hold you back from getting something that you wanted.


Can we maybe stay on my problem until the bread comes?


I wanna kiss you, but I have surgery breath.


Mitchell: Oh my gosh, you cut yourself.
Lily: Don't get blood in my eggs.

Mitchell: Oh my god. That burger was so good, I feel like I just cheated on you.
Cam: Yeah, I heard the moaning.

I gotta stop talking to that kid while I'm drinking.


I'm not a doctor yet, but it seems like you're having some sort of brain episode.


Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy