Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

It's a good time to tell you I dropped Luke on his head when he was one.

Jay

Mitchell: This is how Cam's dad sees me, like some fawning damsel.
Jay: If anything, Cam's the damsel.
Mitchell: Dad! Thanks.

C'mon we gotta go! That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived.

Luke

Back in Vietnam I had Hepatitis, still managed to cook Thanksgiving dinner for 300 soldiers. I think I can handle sauce.

Jay

This hair at a pool party? One dunk and it goes off like an airbag.

Manny

Cam: Hey we got a package from my dad!
Mitchell: No air holes in the box, that's a good sign.
Cam: Lily loved having that chicken.
Mitchell: One more time than she realized.

Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear.

Phil
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