We have been renting the upstairs unit to some frat boys from Cam's old college. They're here for some big game and to try to get on the Price is Right. Unfortunately for me it's brought out Cam's bromosexual side.


Phil: It's time, somebody warm some towels!
Claire: Every time I crack an egg, really?

Okay, woah, this is exactly how it started out when I found out my father wasn't really in space.


Mitchell: That was a take-out menu.
Earl: I don't want that man to know where I eat.

You're not working for the rolo-dex stealing Earl Chambers!


Lily: Where's the little leprechaun?
Cam: I think he's still getting dressed.

It's like being on a submarine, right?


We call ourselves the artful lodgers.


What is with you Americans and the foot?


As an actual glasses wearer, I find it offensive.


All I wanted was to bribe my way into that school by making cubbies that stuff didn't fall out of.


We're like magnets, that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.


Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Cam [giving Lily dating advice]: Definitely compliment his outfit, laugh at his jokes...
Lily: What if they aren't funny?
Cam: Oh honey, the cute ones rarely are. God doesn't give with both hands.