Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

It’s all gravy, when you’re in the A.V.

Phil

Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.

Jay

Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.

There’s a caste system at school. Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It’s offensive and disrespectful, they treat us like we’re lunch ladies.

Cam

My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.

Lily

She’s like a self-cleaning oven.

Phil [about Alex]

I'm fine, he's only one. I watched him pee into his own face and smile.

Jay

Okay that's a lot of mirror looking and that's me saying that.

Haley

I'm not having a wedding slash Hunger Games themed sweet sixteen part- oh you're tapping your fingers. You really do have a plan.

Mitchell

Cam: Poker face, poker face.
Mitchell: Ok, now work on your poker voice.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 1213 in total

Want more Modern Family?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

x Close Ad