Modern Family

Modern Family Quotes (Page 9)

Season 3 Episode 7: "Treehouse"

Cameron: You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: You know who can't climb trees?
Luke: Raccoons?
Phil: Worries. Raccoons can and will so don't leave food up here.
 • Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Haley: Dear College, Cheese makes me gassy, see you in September.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Manny: Forbidden dance floor, only makes me want it more.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jennifer Tilly: Last week Shorty took me to the Cirque-de-Soleil. It's like a circus, but classy.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Cameron: If she were I would never have been that smooth. It's ironic, like "The Gift of the Vagi."
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: Did I just say wife gets in the way? Cause sometimes I do that.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 6: "Go Bullfrogs!"

Gloria: I cannot believe he spent 50 dollars on this.
Jay: I know! He could've gotten a two-year subscription to Playboy for that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Claire: I just wanted to spend my night with some fun gay people. It's not my fault this one decided to be straight!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: I want music and dancing and secondhand smoke!
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Jay: Think about it, 14-year-old boy, talks about girls all day long. We have more security on these computers than the Pentagon. What do you think he's doing up there?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Gloria: What do you mean she blossomed? Like the puberty?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Julian: I'm not gay, I'm French.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: When I talk to my old friends from college do we croak or do we bark?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Haley [to Phil]: Are you trying to ruin college for me before it even starts?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: Alright ladies. Go home, roll up your hair and clap off the lights because this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time.
Mitchell: If he was straight this would be just like high school.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Claire [to Mitchell and Cam]: When did you two become such old women?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Claire: I have 3 kids, I've been tired since 2005.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: I don't know about you but I've got about five minutes of fabulous left.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 5: "Hit and Run"

Phil Dunphy: I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

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