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Modern-family

Gloria: What about the pigeons?
Jay: I don't like them. They're shifty.

I only understand about 20% of what goes on around here.

Jay

We're like Ponce de Leon and his son... little Ponce.

Phil

You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.

Phil

I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror.

Jay

Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!

Gloria

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.

Mitchell

I have to get old... you don't have to get fat.

Jay

Can we stop calling me little guy? I'm in the fortieth percentile.

Manny

You have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.

Manny

I've seen the kid do a pull-up.

Manny

The universe is cold and loveless.

Manny
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 300 in total

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

Manny: Any suggestions?
Jay: I usually go with earrings

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