Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

Gloria: What about the pigeons?
Jay: I don't like them. They're shifty.

Permalink: What about the pigeons? I don't like them. They're shifty.

Added: March 04, 2010

I only understand about 20% of what goes on around here.
Jay

Permalink: I only understand about 20% of what goes on around here.

Added: March 04, 2010

We're like Ponce de Leon and his son... little Ponce.
Phil

Permalink: We're like Ponce de Leon and his son... little Ponce.

Added: March 04, 2010

You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.
Phil

Permalink: You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that ...

Added: March 04, 2010

I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror.
Jay

Permalink: I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. Tha...

Added: March 04, 2010

Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!
Gloria

Permalink: Remember how scared you were to use the grill? But your eyebrows...

Added: March 04, 2010

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.
Mitchell

Permalink: Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not ini...

Added: March 04, 2010

I have to get old... you don't have to get fat.
Jay

Permalink: I have to get old... you don't have to get fat.

Added: February 11, 2010

Can we stop calling me little guy? I'm in the fortieth percentile.
Manny

Permalink: Can we stop calling me little guy? I'm in the fortieth percentil...

Added: February 11, 2010

You have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.
Manny

Permalink: You have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.

Added: February 11, 2010