Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 1 Quotes
It's very important to Manny that you two go have a nice picnic in the mountains.
Gloria
Gather round like you're hugging me, but don't touch me!
Phil
She can't grow up with one huggy, happy cuddly dad and one frowny, lesson-teachy dad because... guess which one she's gonna ask to walk her down the aisle
Mitchell
I'm like a mother bear. When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to her.
Cameron
This stuff's really hitting me. My insides feel like velvet.
Phil
If I never wake up, I'd hate for the last thing you ever said to me to be a lie.
Phil
When you walked through a spider web... when we were playing with a Ouija board and the wind blew a door shut...
Luke
I could be sitting grill-side watching a guy build an onion volcano. Instead, I got Rico Suave in my kitchen.
Jay
Mitchell: Still keeping traditions alive, huh?
Jay: Someone has to. I got two Colombians as home trying to turn Christmas into Cinco de Mayo.
Mitchell: You know that's Mexican right?
Jay: Ahh. Burrito, burr-righto.
Gloria: Every culture has their own traditions. For example, in our culture, the Baby Jesus is the one that brings the presents, not the Santa Claus.
Jay: That's doesn't make sense. How could a new born baby carry all those presents? They don't even know where their hands are.
Manny: At least a baby could fit through a chimney.
Jay: How could you sit on the Baby Jesus' lap? You'd squish him.
If this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, I'm going to have a big problem.
Manny
If I was home right now, I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of eggnog and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat. You don't think I don't miss that?
Cameron