Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Ordinarily I'm a rule follower, but when someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium? That's when I get a little... nuts. It's a free country right? Let's just say it Ruffles me when some Goobers tell me I have to spend my half my PayDay on their hot dogs.

Phil

Mitchell: Why did you dress her in jungle print?
Cam: Because I thought it would be cute!
Mitchell: She's going to think she's back in Vietnam!

Manny: Oh no, who will pee all over the bathroom floor?
Luke: I was brushing my teeth at the same time...you try to do that.

I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

Luke

I thought one of the advantages of marrying an older guy was that I was going to be able to relax. But all of this swimming and running and rowing, it's just like how some of my relatives got into this country!

Gloria

Cameron: It would be like Lewis telling Clark that he didn't like to walk. Sidenote: We're very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. Clark bought a big sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his Louisiana Purchase.

He was a very nice man when we met him, but based on his recent letters I have a small fear he's become a war lord.

Cameron

I noticed some lovely some lovely tweens down by the kids' club, maybe we can find a nice spot near them by the pool and send over a couple of virgin Mai Tais. They may be interested in two sophisticated men like us.

Manny

Claire: I got pregnant with Haley.
Phil: My bad!

I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up

Jay

Sweet Lady Gaga... that is good.

Mitchell

I decided to get in better shape quick. Didn't want to end up like my old man. Although he did die doing what he loved - refusing service to hippies who came into his store.

Jay
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