We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.

Luke

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke

Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?

There she is. The prettiest white woman on Maui.

Phil

Score, this place has an iron in the closet!

Manny [in his Hawaiian hotel room]

Look at him getting coffee and not putting chocolate in it! He's so mature!

Haley

I have an uncle that can only wear bell-bottoms. Hand to God.

Cam

Cam: People always say I scream Hawaii.
Mitchell: Who says that?
Cam: People...
Mitchell: What people?
Cam: ...You don't know them.

I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.

Manny

Could you make it a double? I'm traveling with my family.

Jay

A Realtor's just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.

Phil

This is a coup. When you get in with Jasper, doors open. He's a legacy at Happy Time Preschool.

Cameron

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes

I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?

Phil

Phil: Kids, get down here!
Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me.
Claire: Alright, that's not going to happen and...wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Haley: What's wrong with it?
Claire [to Phil]: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute sweetheart.
Haley: Thanks.
Claire [to Haley]: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them