We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.


Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.


Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?

There she is. The prettiest white woman on Maui.


Score, this place has an iron in the closet!

Manny [in his Hawaiian hotel room]

Look at him getting coffee and not putting chocolate in it! He's so mature!


I have an uncle that can only wear bell-bottoms. Hand to God.


Cam: People always say I scream Hawaii.
Mitchell: Who says that?
Cam: People...
Mitchell: What people?
Cam: ...You don't know them.

I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.


Could you make it a double? I'm traveling with my family.


A Realtor's just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.


This is a coup. When you get in with Jasper, doors open. He's a legacy at Happy Time Preschool.


Modern Family Season 1 Quotes

Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby... but that's science. You can't fight it.


If Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the baby's yours?