Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

He was a very nice man when we met him, but based on his recent letters I have a small fear he's become a war lord.

Cameron

I noticed some lovely some lovely tweens down by the kids' club, maybe we can find a nice spot near them by the pool and send over a couple of virgin Mai Tais. They may be interested in two sophisticated men like us.

Manny

Claire: I got pregnant with Haley.
Phil: My bad!

I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up

Jay

Sweet Lady Gaga... that is good.

Mitchell

I decided to get in better shape quick. Didn't want to end up like my old man. Although he did die doing what he loved - refusing service to hippies who came into his store.

Jay

We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.

Luke

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke

Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?

Displaying quotes 19 - 27 of 300 in total