Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Claire, we're not your parents; we're in much better shape.

Phil

Forgive me for thinking your zesty performance deserves some praise!

Phil

Phil: We were, as they say, having sex.
Claire: That's not a euphemism. That's actually what we were doing.

While Claire watched one of the most highly-acclaimed films of the year, I sat through a badly made schlock-fest, with absolutely no redeeming value - and it was awesome!

Phil

Why do I have to watch a French movie, I didn't do anything wrong.

Phil

Honey, look at how long it just took us to figure out she's insulting us.

Claire

Tell me about it, I've got a clingy 5th grader, I can't shake.

Manny

You're so gay you can't even think of real girls names.

Mitchell

I'm still thinking about all the Sanjays.

Phil

This could be my 'going bald' scare all over again.

Mitchell

You don't tell your partner you may have a baby with someone else and then go back to eating a delicious and inventive meal like it's NOTHING!

Cam

Cam: Tell me all about Mitchell in high school. Did he have a beard?
Tracy: You're looking at her.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 279 in total

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk/Command P makes the picture walk, walk, walk.

Phil

Cameron: I love Jay, but I don't know about him raising a child.
Mitchell: He raised me.
Cameron: Well now you've put me in an awkward position.