Claire, we're not your parents; we're in much better shape.


Forgive me for thinking your zesty performance deserves some praise!


Phil: We were, as they say, having sex.
Claire: That's not a euphemism. That's actually what we were doing.

While Claire watched one of the most highly-acclaimed films of the year, I sat through a badly made schlock-fest, with absolutely no redeeming value - and it was awesome!


Why do I have to watch a French movie, I didn't do anything wrong.


Honey, look at how long it just took us to figure out she's insulting us.


Tell me about it, I've got a clingy 5th grader, I can't shake.


You're so gay you can't even think of real girls names.


I'm still thinking about all the Sanjays.


This could be my 'going bald' scare all over again.


You don't tell your partner you may have a baby with someone else and then go back to eating a delicious and inventive meal like it's NOTHING!


Cam: Tell me all about Mitchell in high school. Did he have a beard?
Tracy: You're looking at her.

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Oh, here we go, because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street! Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!


Manny: Kelly's moving her stuff into my notebook.
Kelly: It just felt right.