OK, every once in a while you say that thing about the twig, and I need you to know, that bothers me.


Cam: Thanks for staying home with me.
Mitchell: Well, you know, in sickness and in health, right?
Cam: You're still blinkin' sweetie.

They're monsters, Claire! Deceitful, manipulative monsters and they need to be broken.


Claire: Luke, honey, come back I said I was sorry.
Luke: I'm 12, I need limits.

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

What, are you going to the ball Cinderella? Live a little.


But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!


You poked the bear girls! You poked him!


Note to Claire, if you want intense family drama, rent spy kids.


Don't feel. Just go splash water on your face and man up. We're your mother now.


Kids these days get trophies just for showing up. What's that gonna lead to? A bunch of thirty year olds living at home.


Luke: You know more people have died hiking than in the entire Civil War?
Alex: What book did you read that in?
Luke: Book? Look it up on the internet, Grandma.

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Oh, here we go, because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street! Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!


Manny: Kelly's moving her stuff into my notebook.
Kelly: It just felt right.