Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Claire: Luke, honey, come back I said I was sorry.
Luke: I'm 12, I need limits.

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

What, are you going to the ball Cinderella? Live a little.

Claire

But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!

Gloria

You poked the bear girls! You poked him!

Phil

Note to Claire, if you want intense family drama, rent spy kids.

Phil

Don't feel. Just go splash water on your face and man up. We're your mother now.

Haley

Kids these days get trophies just for showing up. What's that gonna lead to? A bunch of thirty year olds living at home.

Claire

Luke: You know more people have died hiking than in the entire Civil War?
Alex: What book did you read that in?
Luke: Book? Look it up on the internet, Grandma.

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