I love Manny, but sometimes, I...be a boy. Go outside kick a ball and steal something.

Gloria

Jay: How much longer do I have to listen to the Julia Child impression?
Phil: For as long as it's still funny.
Jay: I think the timer just went off on that.

Phil: It's the 21st century. You should get a pair.
Jay: I was gonna suggest the same thing.

Mitchell: You do love pink.
Cam: No, pink loves me.

It happens to be mother's day. Not martyr's day.

Mitchell

Luke: I say we eat what we kill.
Manny: Then I guess we'll be eating the mood.

Gloria: Lily! When something awful happens, you're going to be mine!
Mitchell: It really is an "if" situation...
Gloria: All mine!

Gloria: I said I was sorry! But I've had them since I was two. Huge ones!
Phil: What is she...?
Claire: Earrings, Phil. Earrings.

You know why else he's gonna be ok? Because somewhere out there is a little girl who's making lists and labeling bins...and he's gonna find her.

Phil

Please don't let me screw up our son!

Claire

Cameron: You punctured our daughter!
Gloria: But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear, look!

Mitchell: How are you doing?
Cameron: Oh not good. I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that.
Mitchell: In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?
Cameron: Do not minimize it, oh he who I had to rush to the emergency room when he fell out of his clogs.

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Claire: Little kids can be friends with old people, right?
Phil: Of course they can, there's tons of examples: Up, Gran Torino, True Grit..."
Claire: Cartoon, kills himself, she loses an arm. We've gotta go talk to that guy."

What about this two-hour Antiques Roadshow?
Manny I'll watch it today.

Jay