Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.

• Permalink: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth. You do have a ...
• Added: November 23, 2011

Why hug when you can manshake?

Phil

• Permalink: Why hug when you can manshake?
• Added: November 23, 2011

I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!

Phil

• Permalink: I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. ...
• Added: November 17, 2011

I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.

Phil

• Permalink: I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we ca...
• Added: November 17, 2011

You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonna work for my fans.

Alex [to Haley]

• Permalink: You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonn...
• Added: November 16, 2011

Mitchell is turning Gloria into mom.

Claire

• Permalink: Mitchell is turning Gloria into mom.
• Added: November 16, 2011

Uncle Cam, as her future prom date can you please talk to her? You know fashion and stuff.

Haley [about Alex]

• Permalink: Uncle Cam, as her future prom date can you please talk to her? Y...
• Added: November 16, 2011

Let me burn your clothes!

Haley [to Alex]

• Permalink: Let me burn your clothes!
• Added: November 16, 2011

You gotta grab what you can, when you can.

Luke

• Permalink: You gotta grab what you can, when you can.
• Added: November 16, 2011

The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.

Jay

• Permalink: The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.
• Added: November 16, 2011

I can't take another farm story.

Jay [to Cam]

• Permalink: I can't take another farm story.
• Added: November 16, 2011

I sleep clown.

Cam

• Permalink: I sleep clown.
• Added: November 16, 2011