It happened. Satan's trifecta. The day I most dreaded had fallen on the day I most loved.


Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.


I can be spontaneous every 4 years.


I live with 4 teenagers, you live with 2 adults.

Claire [to Gloria]

She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for college, which means that he may never have found out.

Haley [to Alex]

There are blind models? That's so sad, they can't see how pretty they are!


Do you think it would be offensive to ask my daughter to walk on my back?


Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I'm familiar with Claire.

She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings.


Remember that time I told you I couldn't make your figure skating competition because I was stuck at work? By stuck I meant drunk and by work I meant the golf course!


It happens. Dolls grow up.


The only stage you're going to be jumping to will have a pole on it!

Alex [to Haley]

Modern Family Season 3 Quotes

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]