Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Cam: Are you excited for your big sleepover with your cousins?
Lily: Who's watching me?
Cam: Haley.
Lily: I'm serious.
Mitchell: Alex.
Lily: Okay let's go.

I know how awesome college is, that's how I got kicked out.

Haley

That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary. I think it's all the nagging.

Phil

I am very angry at you and I'm going to make a list of all the things I'm going to scream at you as soon as this baby's out of me.

Gloria

How're you gonna cheerlead your way out of this one Buffy?

Mitchell

Yeah I was pretty ticked off that Mitchell double crossed my double cross.

Phil

In this relationship I'm the gas pedal and you are the brakes.

Cam [to Mitchell]

Cam: Okay what did we learn from "A League of Their Own?"
Claire: No crying in baseball.
Cam: No, that Madonna's a lousy actress and so are you. So what's going on?

Papa would buy ten diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut up.

Jay

There's something about going to work that makes you feel like, I don't know, you're worth something. No offense mom.

Haley

His turn offs are farms, Fizbo, and worst of all Farmbo.

Claire [about Mitchell]
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 202 in total

Modern Family Season 4 Quotes

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny

Cam: I'm a doer and an action taker. Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this. Or Anne Hathaway if they wanted a female driven vehicle.
Mitchell: And who would play your long suffering partner?
Cam: Julianne Moore either way.
Mitchell: I would totally see that. I would.

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