Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Gloria: The baby kicked me all night. It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl.
Cam: You can be both. My senior year I was a right side linebacker and a left side cancan dancer in Gigi.

Manny: Luke I need you for this. You're sneakier than I am, you a bigger liar, you have no moral compass.
Luke: Look thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid party? That's not even a challenge.

Phil Dunphy this is the year 2025, welcome, you're the first one here.

Phil

Haley: What is this a solar system?
Alex: They're molecules.
Haley: No they're nerdy balls.

Haley: In Legally Blonde Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute.
Phil: Haley this is real life, not an excellent movie.

Look this has gotta be some kind of mistake. Our daughter is tiny, there's no way she assaulted anyone. Insulted maybe. Was the cop wearing white socks and dark shoes? Because that really sets her off.

Phil

If you had a husband who liked picking out strollers you wouldn't be having a baby.

Jay

My daughter's been arrested for drinking. I would like her to sit in jail and think about that. As a matter of fact I might stop and do a little outlet shopping. Who wants a pair of last year's sunglasses, eh?

Claire

Claire listen to me. Take a lot of cash and when you flash it at the police, do not speak about it. Their eyes do all the talking, okay?

Gloria

Phone! I bet that's Mama, I was just dreaming it was raining chickens.

Cam

Alex: I know what you think about Michael, mom. You didn't have to bring your big gay guns in to back you up. No offense.
Mitchell: None taken.
Cam: I kinda like it.

I'm not a rider, I'm a strider.

Phil
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 202 in total

Modern Family Season 4 Quotes

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Jay was really explicit about what he wanted to do for his 65th birthday, but luckily Phil Dunphy knows how to read between the lines.

Phil
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