Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.

Is this kindergarten or the Hunger Games?

Cam

If you ever put your hands on my daughter again, I will string you up by your feet, run you up the flagpole and let the birds peck out your eyes.

Cameron

Don't be disrespectful Luke, anybody could do it with Gloria.

Phil

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Sure I had a little peppermint schnapps at my prom but I kicked my boyfriend out before my parents woke up. It's called respect.

Claire

She's being facetious...sarcastic...Dylan no stay!

Alex [to Haley]

Oh please, I was an anomaly, I self potty trained.

Manny

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Jay was really explicit about what he wanted to do for his 65th birthday, but luckily Phil Dunphy knows how to read between the lines.

Phil
Displaying quotes 193 - 202 of 202 in total

Modern Family Season 4 Quotes

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell [to Cam]
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