Aww time to heal more, that's so sweet and sensitive. Why did you kill that part of yourself?

Cam [to Mitchell]

• Permalink: Aww time to heal more, that's so sweet and sensitive. Why did yo...
• Added: May 08, 2013

Gloria: You had a 3 hour nap on Sunday.
Jay: I was tired.
Gloria: From what, your 2 hour nap on Saturday?

• Permalink: You had a 3 hour nap on Sunday. I was tired. From what, your...
• Added: May 01, 2013

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Manny

• Permalink: We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones...
• Added: May 01, 2013

Claire: You have dumb ideas.
Phil: Name one...that went on for awhile.

• Permalink: You have dumb ideas. Name one...that went on for awhile.
• Added: May 01, 2013

Jay: This behavior of yours is not gonna fly when you lose your looks.
Gloria: Awww, you'll be long gone by then.

• Permalink: This behavior of yours is not gonna fly when you lose your looks...
• Added: May 01, 2013

For the record, I do all my own wiping.

Luke

• Permalink: For the record, I do all my own wiping.
• Added: May 01, 2013

In this scenario he's the Tonya and I'm the Nancy!

Phil

• Permalink: In this scenario he's the Tonya and I'm the Nancy!
• Added: May 01, 2013

Cam: Well obviously the tooth fairy made a mistake.
Mitchell: Maybe it's cause the tooth fairy had a little too much chardonnay last night.

• Permalink: Well obviously the tooth fairy made a mistake. Maybe it's caus...
• Added: May 01, 2013

It's Luke's career day. I thought I'd offer the kids a chance to put their face on my body.

Phil

• Permalink: It's Luke's career day. I thought I'd offer the kids a chance to...
• Added: May 01, 2013

Alex: He keeps asking me to hand him all of the instruments, he wants me to act like a nurse.
Luke: Now it sounds like a date in Haley's life.

• Permalink: He keeps asking me to hand him all of the instruments, he wants ...
• Added: May 01, 2013

Phil: She's like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Cam: With cuter hair.

• Permalink: She's like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. With cuter hair.
• Added: April 10, 2013

Haley: Okay so after a quick scan of his facebook, twitter, tumblr, pinterest and instagram, this is what I know.
Luke: Privacy is dead?

• Permalink: Okay so after a quick scan of his facebook, twitter, tumblr, pin...
• Added: April 10, 2013