A wise and insightful old hippie, a Jeff Bridges old hippie.

Phil

Just because he's behind a curtain doesn't make him a wizard.

Claire

I've always felt out of place in public school, like a long petunia in an onion patch.

Manny

He says I make him nervous, that I care too much. That's why I not even allowed to bring him to his haircuts anymore.

Gloria

Haley you're not quitting, you're resigning it sounds better.

Phil

Claire: Alex what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.

Wouldn't you rather have toast that's already buttered?

Luke

Phil: What did I say about eating things for money?
Luke: Charge the most and people will think you're worth it.

Yesterday I accidentally said eleventy five.

Claire

You're never off the court!

Luke

Are we gonna do that thing again where you try on different outfits like in Pretty Woman?

Phil's dad

There is no guy, I'm the guy.

Phil

Modern Family Season 4 Quotes

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Manny

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell [to Cam]