Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Claire: You have an in law who no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can't win over.
Jay: What about it?
Claire: Oh that doesn't sound familiar?
Jay:You're not saying.
Claire: Mmhmm, yeah I am.
Jay: Son of a bitch, I'm Phil!

Nobody doesn't like me. I'm Jay. I'm salt of the earth.

Jay

Because we refused to abuse we got banned from the party of the century?

Cam

Claire: Wow pretty cozy with the new housekeeper huh?
Gloria: She's my sister.
Claire: Wow pretty weird with your sister!

What's one more son in a dress?

Jay

I know you guys like to go to mom because she's Mr. Tough Guy problem solver.

Phil

Phil: Is there some kind of dress code for Godparents?
Claire: You're not wearing a fedora Phil.

Fulgencio Umberto, the initials are F U Pritchitt which is exactly the way it feels right now

Jay

When I was 17 I was really close to my friend Stacey's mom. Mrs. Robinson was a former cheerleader so she knew just how to massage my legs after practice. She had her own homemade bengay that didn't burn no matter where she rubbed it on me.

Phil

Please to not turn me marrying my daughter into something ugly.

Cam

Kenny: Hey I don't think we've met I'm Kenny.
Alex: And I'm disgusted.

And the birthday video becomes a nature film.

Luke
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 202 in total

Modern Family Season 4 Quotes

Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell [to Cam]