Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Wait is fire weather?

Haley

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Don't cry, you'll streak your bronzer.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Half our guests are gay; we're finally giving them a good memory on a school bus.

Cam

Thanks to 35 dollars on the Internet you are looking at the Good Reverend Phillip Humphrey Dunphy.

Phil

Just so you know sometimes when babies come this early, they're black.

Sal

I think I just broke a nail on a turtle.

Claire

Jerry: Where did she come from?
Mitchell: Because she doesn't look like us? That’s offensive.

You guys exhaust me.

Lily

Alex: So what're you gonna do in Utah.
Andy: Well, me and my girlfriend haven’t seen each other in a while so we're gonna be like a couple bunny rabbits…
Alex: Wow.
Andy: Hopping all over town.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 195 in total

Modern Family Season 5 Quotes

I know how it works. I rented the wrong movie once. Did you see Glenn Gary Glenn and Ross?

Gloria

If he doesn't go to Columbia, Columbia comes to me.

Jay