Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Wait is fire weather?

Haley

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Don't cry, you'll streak your bronzer.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Half our guests are gay; we're finally giving them a good memory on a school bus.

Cam

Thanks to 35 dollars on the Internet you are looking at the Good Reverend Phillip Humphrey Dunphy.

Phil

Just so you know sometimes when babies come this early, they're black.

Sal

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Claire

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria

Haley: I was conceived at a Duran Duran concert?!
Alex: Classy start to a classy life.

I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was suggested I was out of my league when I landed Claire, by Jay mostly. And my friends, and my parents...and Claire.

Phil
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 138 in total

Want more Modern Family?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Modern Family Quotes

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron
x Close Ad