NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
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McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: You know the "Men" in "Men's Room" is more of a rule than a suggestion, probie.
Bishop: Look, you two always get to go off giggling to the urinal together and I always get left out. So we're going to talk and we're going to do it here.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Carrie: Why do you insist on meeting me here? And don't tell me it's the food.
Gibbs: Good people. Honest people. Hungry people. Club sandwich isn't half bad.
Carrie: I'm sorry about your dad.
Gibbs: He would have loved to have met you.
Carrie: Rumor has it he was as challenging as his son.
Gibbs: Yeah well, there's an understatement.
Carrie: I like a good challenge.

Margaret: Why didn't you ever marry? You had so much love to give.
Ducky: A colleague and a very good friend of mine lost his soul mate. And then he nearly wrecked his life marrying the wrong woman over and over, trying to find her again. I chose to skip that part.

Trust us, Bishop. The Abby dating world is a vortex you do not want to get sucked into. Sometimes it's complicated. Just let Abby be Abby.

Tony

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

I know rule 62 is to always give people space when they get off the elevator but this is really important and I don't want to waste any time.

Abby

I have the training, you know that. Ever since I got out I can't get a single job in the field. I've been saving to go to medical school. But even if I'm cleared you think anyone will accept me with this on my record? I learn the same as the Army and the Air Force medics and for some reason they come out EMT Basic and they could have legally saved those kids. Why can't I?

Dillon

Jimmy: This is getting scary. Dr. Mallard talks to the dead, and now you're talking to evidence.
Abby: Well, it usually works with firearms, but this one is not saying a peep.

Cabot: As you know, the Navy is trying harder than ever to eradicate sexual assault in their ranks.
Gibbs: Was Ensign Tate a rape suspect?
Cabot: Right to the point, as always. No Gibbs, Tate was a second-party complainant. He reported an assault on behalf of a friend.

McGee: I should have been here when you woke up.
Delilah: You're here now.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 714 in total
NCIS quotes are not to be missed. The crime solving is great and all, but the one-liners from the characters - and Tony's movie quotes, and Gibbs' one-word zingers - are often some of the most memorable parts of a given episode. Be it simple or profound, the show has a way of amping up the drama when it matters most and using levity to keep things grounded. NCIS quotes cover the full spectrum and then some.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: You know the "Men" in "Men's Room" is more of a rule than a suggestion, probie.
Bishop: Look, you two always get to go off giggling to the urinal together and I always get left out. So we're going to talk and we're going to do it here.