Gibbs: The only therapy I need is my job.
Taft: Be sure to put that on your tombstone.

Jimmy: I know you like me, too.
Gibbs [ominously]: Oh, yeah.
Jimmy: Growing less and less certain by the second.

I love this sofa. It's like being hugged by a microfiber cloud!

Fornell

Ziva: So this is where a redthroat would hang out after being overseas for months.
Tony: It's not redthroat, it's redneck.
Ziva: Oh.

Future’s coming with or without you. Might as well *be* there.

Jimmy

Tony Senior: That's your bed?
Tony: Yeah.
Tony Senior: Not much room for play.
Tony: Well when I come home, dad, I sleep. Alone.
Tony Senior: You're serious?
Tony: Dad this is my sanctuary. Okay? If I'm going to see a lady I will stay at her place. That way I can leave when I want, and nobody overstays their welcome.

Tony: Oil business has Benham Parsa written all over it.
Gibbs: FBI?
McGee: They don't think there's a connection. Intel shows that Parsa's still underground.

Bishop: Um...is this the parenting class?
Soto: Oh, I'm sorry. There was a mixup on the website. Tonight is my couples' intimacy class.
Vance: Well this should be interesting.

Gibbs: You need something Bishop.
Bishop: Nope. I'm good.
Gibbs: Wasn't a question.
Bishop: Deep undercover work, like Tony did years ago. Hypothetically, would you ever put me in that position?
Gibbs: That's tough to answer.
Bishop: I'm only saying....I know the big picture. Eventually, everyone's time comes. And I understand and accept that.
Gibbs: Forget the big picture. Look at everything close up.
Bishop: Do you think that working undercover for so long affected your marriage?
Gibbs: Go home to Jake, Bishop.

Zoe: You've got to get your lies straight, DiNozzo.
Tony: DiNozzo. You've never gone surname on me before.
Zoe: You've never gone liar on me.

Lodge owner: I swear, the old witch is psychic. If I have so much as a thought of another woman...
Tony: You don't have to answer that.
Lodge owner: I have to.

Torres: Hey, Tim. You said that Gibbs was happy. What do you mean?
McGee: I don't want to talk about it.
Torres: You can't leave me hanging, bro.
McGee: I'm sorry. It felt kind of private.
Torres: Is he going to be okay?
McGee: I think he probably hasn't been this OK in a long time.
Torres: What about that guy? Can you believe Director Vance offered him Gibb's job already?

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?