Bishop: Agent Keats, I was just wondering, for no particular reason: what are your thoughts on classic movie marathons and homecooked Italian meals?
Keates: Well, I appreciate the offer, but you're barking up the wrong tree.
Bishop: No, no no, I wasn't----
McGee: Smooth.

When a dog turns on its owner, there's only one possible course of action - you put the dog down. I ate mine. Childhood memories are the sweetest, aren't they?

Burton

Burton: Isn't this a pleasant surprise. And who might you be?
Tony: I'm very special Agent Tony DiNozzo.
Burton: I do love Italian.

Keates: If there was ever any indication that he or his family were any danger we would have stepped in.
Gibbs: His wife's dead. Think you missed your cue.
Keates: Okay look here, John Wayne. You don't come into my house and accuse me of not doing my job.
Tony: Okay why don't we just settle down, back it up.
Keates: Like hell. I am damned good at what I do. I'm also professional enough to admit when I've made a mistake but only when I've made one.

Keates: Spider?
Tony: Keates?
Gibbs: You know her?
Tony: Um, well I..in a sort of...yeah. She's Philly PD.
Keates: She was. She's ATF now. Special Agent Zoe Keates. You want to get that gun out of my face and come over here and give me a hug?

Bishop: Okay. Which costume do you like better for me and Jake? Popeye and Olive Oil or the old farming couple from American Gothic?
Tony: Neither. Bishop this is a chance for you to be whoever you want for one night. Why don't you get crazy; step out of your preppy librarian "hot for teacher" comfort zone?
Bishop: Hey.
McGee: What are your other ideas?
Bishop: I don't want to say.
Tony: Romeo and Juliet.
McGee: Cinderella and Prince Charming.
Tony: Anthony and Cleopatra
McGee: Bonnie and Clyde
Tony: How close are we?

Bishop: What about Chris in HR?
Tony: Nah. Too judgmental. She never laughed at the emails I sent her.
McGee: That's because they were offensive.
Tony: See? Too judgmental.
Bishop: What about Erica from accounting? What went wrong there?
Tony: Cats. They were all named Mr. Darcy.
Bishop: Don't you think you're being a little picky?
Tony: Well, there's a lot of fish in the sea.
McGee: Not at the rate you've been fishing.
Tony: What can I say, McGee? Women find me alluring.

McGee: She doesn't want to wear a costume.
Tony: What? Are you insane? For the love of all that is holy, probie - let's get with the program. Abby takes this holiday very seriously. You deviate from the plan, you pay the consequences. Tell her, McGee.
McGee: Halloween 2007, I told Abby I didn't want to carve a pumpkin.
Tony: He's still waiting for the other one to descend.

Gibbs: Bishop. You were right.
Bishop: I was?
Gibbs: I have been going easy on you. But it's got nothing to do with you.
Bishop: I don't understand.
Gibbs: It's about that desk. I've lost two people off that desk. Good people. And it's on me. I was doing something wrong. When something's wrong, change it.
Bishop: This job is hard.
Gibbs: I know that.
Bishop: It's hard, Gibbs. It's inevitable you'd lose people along the way. Doesn't mean your way of teaching is wrong. Look at Tony, McGee: they're amazing.
Gibbs: Yeah.
Bishop: I want to be like them. I want to be like you, Gibbs. I'm asking you to push me to be like you.
Gibbs: Okay.
Bishop: Okay?
Gibbs: Yeah. Okay. Back to the old way.
Bishop: Thank you.
Gibbs: This floor is for standing and walking.
Bishop: What?
Gibbs: Sit in your damned chair, Bishop.

Ky Van Tu: This man - he help me bury my mother, my father. I want to thank him but I do not know how. So I follow. I follow far, behind. Soon I hear gun and I hide. After, I see my friend dead.
Gibbs: You saw his body?
Ky Van Tu: Yes. I run home for my cart, and I bring my friend here.
Gibbs: Why?
Ky Van Tu: I bury him next to my parent. I do not know that his family look for him. This is how I honor him. This is how I thank him.

Bishop: Just give me the chance. Let me prove myself.
Gibbs: That why you went in after Caldwell? To prove yourself?
Bishop: What else am I supposed to do when you don't believe in me? I know what an 82 on an eval means.
Tony: I got to get a thing for my thing.
McGee: I'm going to help him with that thing
Gibbs: I'm doing things different now. High score means you did good. That's it.
Bishop: You pushed all the other probies. Why would you change things for me? Why?
Gibbs: Bishop.
Bishop: Why are you treating me different?
Gibbs: You know what I want to say to you, for letting Caldwell get away?
Bishop: Something other than "it's fine".
Gibbs: You're damned right.
Bishop: Then say it! You're going easy on me. For Caldwell, for the eval. You've been going easy on me since day one, haven't you?

Vance: So, what are you gonna tell her? (Gibbs turns to face him) Lee a hero or a villain?
Gibbs: Both.

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?