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Ncis

Tony: You need some lady advice.
Tim: I'd rather get a lap dance from a nun.

Ziva: We hit a shamu.
Susan: Did she mean a snafu?

In high school, I was actually voted least likely to take a hint.

Susan

Borin: You can call me Abby.
Gibbs: No, that's not going to happen.

Tony: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?"
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.

This was no boating accident.

Tony

Tobias: This is a big deal, you letting me drive your car.
Gibbs: Whatever, you already slept with my wife.

DiNozzo: We got nothing.
Tobias: I don't like the sound of that.
DiNozzo: [way more enthusiastically] WE GOT NOTHIN'!

Gibbs: Get Tony and Ziva out of bed.
McGee: What? Oh, you want me to get them out of bed. Because it's the middle of the night. Their individual beds.

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