NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Ducky: Interesting date for such a ghoulish demise.
Palmer: Yeah, it's a really cool way to go! [silence] Cool, as in the temperature. Liquid nitrogen. Forget it.

Ducky: Aren't you on the wrong side, of the glass? Oh, look at her, look at the state she's in! I would have thought you would have wanted to be in there yourself, instead of letting Vance interrogate her.
Gibbs: Don't you have some bodies to attend to, Duck?
Ducky: The evidence from the Damocles is being unloaded as we speak. Isn't this punishing her? I mean, you aren't concerned that she might lie to you?
Gibbs: It's tough love.
Ducky: You do know that there are other kinds?

Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.

Tony: Why do you find it so hard to believe that I could hack that sucker out?
Ziva: You cannot even work your email properly! You always reply to "ALL" - it drives me absolutely nuts! You know, when it comes to computers, you are almost as incompetent as Gibbs... (She freezes)
Tony: Ha! You thought Gibbs was behind you! You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness - it's a vicious circle.

Tony: It's like Alien. The Ridley Scott classic, the creepy one.
McGee: As opposed to the non-creepy ones?

Vance (on the phone): I'm not happy about it either, Eli. Gibbs is an awful son-of-a-bitch - you might think he's a thorn in your side, but he's a pain in my ass!
Eli David: He is a thief for stealing my daughter!
Vance: I know you're upset, I know she's your daughter. I will continue to deal with it. You have to believe - I am your ally, here.
Eli David: Show me!
Vance: I will deal with Gibbs. But she has chosen to deal with Gibbs, too.
Eli David: This is not the last conversation we will have on this subject!
Vance: Shalom, Eli.

Gibbs: What can we do for you, Officer Bin-Gidon?
Bin-Gidon: I've come for Ziva David. You're holding a member of my team hostage in there.
Tony: Your team's had a rough year.
Gibbs: I think you already missed your chance to rescue Ziva.
Bin-Gidon: Then I'll have arrived in time to rescue her from you.

I don't know what games they are playing upstairs, but I have had enough. First and foremost, you are our friend. I want to be a friend, Ziva.

Ducky

Ziva: I never intended to live through it.
Gibbs: You didn't. That part of you died out there.

I got within a fingernail of Saleem before I was overpowered. I had nothing but death in my heart.

Ziva

Vance: Bad cop?
Gibbs: You've been playing good cop all this time?

Get to work. Probie.

Gibbs
Displaying quotes 613 - 624 of 709 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: You know the "Men" in "Men's Room" is more of a rule than a suggestion, probie.
Bishop: Look, you two always get to go off giggling to the urinal together and I always get left out. So we're going to talk and we're going to do it here.