Ziva David: Never sweat where you eat.
Tim McGee: Wrong bodily function.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah but it's the right idea.

Eli David: Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. Ask your Agent Gibbs would say, this is not my first radio.
Ziva David: Rodeo.

Jackie Vance: So this is why you had to be in the office so early? Garfield shipped Nermal to the Kremlin again?
Leon Vance: Lasagna shortage in Damascus.

Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".

Leon Vance: So. We'll still have the house to ourselves after dinner right?
Jackie Vance: You had your shot, baby.

Leroy Gibbs: Leon?
Leon Vance: She's dead. My wife is dead, Gibbs.

Ziva: You did not tell us your father would be coming to town.
Tony: I didn't really think it was going to happen. Because something always comes up, doesn't it?
Ziva: Well I think it sounds wonderful.
Tony: Well I don't. We're not...it doesn't...it always ends up in an argument.

Tony: I don't understand. Where are you staying?
Tony Senior: At your place.
Tony: No. No, no, no, no. Because it's not big enough.
Tony Senior: Oh come on Junior. You've got room. [Looks at the rest of the team] Doesn't he?
Ziva: I would not know. I've never been invited.
Tony Senior [at Tony]: Is that true? What's the matter with you?

Tony Senior: That's your bed?
Tony: Yeah.
Tony Senior: Not much room for play.
Tony: Well when I come home, dad, I sleep. Alone.
Tony Senior: You're serious?
Tony: Dad this is my sanctuary. Okay? If I'm going to see a lady I will stay at her place. That way I can leave when I want, and nobody overstays their welcome.

Abby: This ornament has been in my family since the 1890s. It was my great-great grandmother's. So I'm trying to identify as many relatives who have handled it as I can. I already found my Great-Uncle Cooper and Aunt Trixie.
McGee: Ask her how she got a match.
Abby: I used to fingerprint all my relatives at our reunions. I started when I was eleven years old.

McGee: You should appreciate your father. I never had family traditions.
Tony: Well. We haven't had them for years. Traditions kind of died with my grandfather. Senior was kind of an absentee parent, you know? Longstanding customs kind of disappeared. Along with a certain family signet ring. It was always passed on to the next generation on the Christmas of the son's 21st birthday. I never got it. Senior claimed it was stolen. "I was mugged, Junior." But I think he pawned it during the bad times.

Tony: What happened in here?
Tony Senior: Is this how you're going to react to all the hard work I did today? I baked your favorite Christmas cookies. Snickerdoodles. Used your mother's recipe.
Tony: I knew your staying here was a mistake. Look. This is my apartment. Okay? This is my space.
Tony Senior: Junior. Chill. Chill. Get the Christmas spirit.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.