NCIS

NCIS Season 8 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 8 Episode 8: "Enemies Foreign"

Tony: I don't care how many degrees he has, if he's serious about assassinating Eli, he's gonna need something more than a pistol.
Ziva: Tony, it is not about the size of the gun...
Liat: It is about the will of the shooter... We will make sure they do not succeed. If necessary, we will place ourself in the line of fire.
Tony: "All someone needs is the willingness to trade his life for mine." You know, In The Line of Fire.
McGee: Kennedy said that.
Tony: Why don't you just memorize your lines and don't bump into the furniture, McBartlett. Spencer Tracy said that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ziva: You won the marksmanship ribbon for your outfit four consecutive times. I have six.
Liat: But I'm not done, benefit of youth. See, I would expect you to look into past conduct. But you seem to only care about my abilities with a gun.
Ziva: You have a pet cat... named Bill. I happen to like cats.
Liat: Still, I feel this, uh, measuring contest would be more at home in a men's room. Don't you think?
 • Rating: Unrated

Malachi: Did you expect we would never "move on" after you left us?
Ziva: You left me!
Tony: Let's not get hung up on who's left, who's right and who's wrong.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Ziva meets Liat Tuvia, her replacement at Mossad)
Ziva: Liat is one of the most common names in Israel.
Liat: Where only the grandmothers are named Ziva.
McGee: So what brings you to D.C.?
Malachi: The cherry blossoms.
McGee: That's in the spring, actually.
Tony: I'm afraid all we have to offer in November are elections and pardoned turkeys. I really like those boots, Liat. Not speaking too fast for you, am I?
Liat: I understand. You're very, uh... tongue-in-ear.
Ziva: She means tongue-in-cheek.
Tony: Don't put words in the girl's mouth.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ziva: We cannot really be sure that, because this girl crossed paths with him here yesterday, we will cross paths with him today.
Tony: Also can't be sure that Gibbs will be swilling coffee when we get back to the office, or you'll fumble a simple American expression, or that McGee will sleep alone tonight - but, people do tend to follow patterns.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tony: Still won't keep you hacky types from stealing my numbers from the matrix, anyway. (waves wallet over credit card reader) Look at it, doesn't work!
McGee: That's right. You should still be terrified of my kind.
Ziva: (laughs and gets the card reader to work) And apparently 22-year-old girls.
Tony: I refuse to be afraid of 22-year-old girls, no matter what kind of... magical pick-pocketing devices they're sporting. You know who the real victim is? Artistry.
Ziva: If someone wants something out of your pants, they should have to use their hands.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 7: "Broken Arrow"

Tony: You think you're James Bond, don't you? There is no 'op' your job is to get Ziva into the party so she can plant the bug. That's it! And then you stay out of her way, get it?
DiNozzo Sr.: Got it. What exactly is your relationship with her?
Tony: We're co-workers. There is no relationship. It's strictly business!
DiNozzo Sr.: Well, then, you won't mind if I make my move? If the opportunity presents itself?
Tony: Dad. Please. I beg you. Don't embarrass me.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Ziva: Hey guys! (about the trash container) Someone's going to have to go through this. This is disgusting.
Tony: Last time I checked, I was senior field agent.
McGee: It's too bad we don't have a probationary agent with us.
Tony: But we do!
McGee: We do!
Ziva: You're going to pull rank on me?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Fred: Uh, Special Agent Gibbs?
Gibbs: What, Fred?
Fred: I have a problem. Uh, Anthony DiNozzo, Sr. is not only staying in a $1,500-a-night suite, he's also running up a huge tab. Spa treatment, manicure, room service, French champagne, and I just got a call, he's ordered a limousine for tonight.
Gibbs: Guess you haven't got the bill for the flowers yet?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tony: (to McGee) This is surreal. I feel like I'm in a James Bond movie directed by Fellini. On a stakeout, watching my father and Ziva go undercover, while you munch on a Nutter Butter.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Admiral Chase: Does Agent David carry a weapon?
Gibbs: She is a weapon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 6: "Cracked"

McGee: Who's the lucky little vixen, Tony?
Tony: Adult relationship stuff, McTween. You wouldn't understand.
Ziva: (sarcastically) Adult relationship? You?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

McGee: I've already counted three security cameras inside. Should be able to get whoever was in here on playback.
Tony: If somebody was in here.
McGee: I sense skepticism, Tony.
Tony: Well, you sensed right, Dr. Phil.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stillwell: (on a video email message) You ungrateful bitch. You're not goin' anywhere. And if you do leave me, I will make your life hell!
Tony: Wow! Mel Gibson much?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tony: Maybe Alice took a few too many pills in Wonderland. (shakes several prescription pill containers)
Abby: Hey, bite your tongue. Respect, please.
Tony: Sorry, Abbs, I just think we need to consider the possibility that Lieutenant Thorson's paranoia was... "imagined."
Abby: Her hard drive's been erased.
Tony: Is that a euphemism?
Abby: They used a remote device to erase the hard drive. I don't think that is imagined.
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

(Abby is in the morgue, talking to Lieutenant Thorson's corpse)
Abby: So... I just-I want you to know that... whatever it is... that you're trying to tell me, I promise you, I promise I'll understand.
Ducky: Careful, sometimes they talk back.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ziva: What's wrong? Are you having second thoughts about the role you're going to play?
Tony: She wants me to dress up like... No, I can't. It's sacrilege. I'm gonna have to end it.
Ziva: Oh, come on, Tony, it's only been two days. It's too short - even for you.
Tony: Trust me, Ziva, there's some things a man should never do.
Ziva: We're not talking about a man here, we're talking about you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 5: "Dead Air"

Abby: Gibbs! Trying to give me heart palpitations?
Gibbs: No. What've you got, Abbs?
Abby: Heart palpitations.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 4: "Royals & Loyals"

Tony: It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Ziva: Why would anyone out a needle in a sack of hay anyways?
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Tony: [to Ziva] Think about it. First you had your little Miami vice, now Prince Albert in a can. Oh, they can't help it. You're just a walking Israeli love machine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "NCIS" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!